I Literally Drooled!

I am soooo friggin' horny now. Shit!

I just saw everything all at once. The hot straight guy whose window is just adjacent to mine masturbated and he knows I was watching!

The gay couple too had sex and that was way intense than the last time. Gawd! They had like 100 positions. Sweaty!

Like I really can't find words now to describe what just happened! Fuck! *drools*



Anyway, enough of those sexually explicit thangs. I am really excited and static to the nth level cos I'll be going to the Philippines SOON! Two more weeks dolls. Got so many plans. Meet my third year classmates from La Salle. Watch UAAP basketball games. Bond with my real life doll sisters. Meet my long time highschool bestfriends. See all the babies of my girlfriends. Meet my GMAC Collections family. My BO's dolls. Bond with my cousins there. So many things to do and I am really freakin'excited now. :)



This afternoon I was jogging. And tell me how many guys winked at me while they saw me jog in style, hah! Seriously, even the drunk old guys sitting on the benches?! Like ewww!

So I tweeted about this crush from work. He's name is Alberto. He's tall, white and cute. Firm ass by the way. He said he jogs everyday too just to stay in shape. Sexay! :) I recently found out that his dad is actually a friend of my dad. Our dads used to work together. One day, he was fixing something. He called me to give him a handjob. LMAO! No, seriously, he called me to give him a hand. I was super close to him like I can already see his facial pores. I just stared at him for several seconds. He was so close that I can like give him a smack on the cheeks already.

I've actually had a crush on him eversince his first day at work. One day he was doing something on the patio of our work and I went there to help him. He asked me if our boss ordered me to help him. I said no, but if he doens't want me there, then I'll just leave. He said no. *blush*

He was playing with the water hose. He splashed water on me, which he didn't actually intended. I got pissed off (drama queen lol). I had to walk away to change. He called me but I never looked back.

Then I saw him on the parking area and he said sorry. I said it's fine. I asked him to go shower now cos I'm gonna be using the vestuary too. He said, he's just gonna shower at home cos he's got a ride anyway. I asked him if that was his car. He said no. Then there it was, he asked me if he can give me a ride home. I said YES! with a doll wink.

So we were inside his car. I asked him again, whose car is it then. He said it was from a girl friend who went to Ibiza and left him the car. I asked him, is she his partner. He said no. Just plain friend. I asked him how old is he. He said 27. I asked him if he is married. He said no and that he still lives with his parents.

I know, my questions were like running into circles. Like I said, I realized, I can talk to clients and be cool. Calm. Collected. Very educated the way I converse. Yet with guys, ones I like, get retarded and stupid. I fumble through words. I stutter. I smile too much. And the scariest of them all, is I act like myself - a DOLL.

So sad there weren't enough stoplights. :( So I arrived home.

Every now and then at work, he would always be the first one to say hola to me. Weird, I know.



There is also a girl from my work who's been meaning to go out with me. She even offered a ride home too but I always reject her. My co-workers would always tease me that I'd end up with her at the end of the day. Prolly cos we always fight. hah! On my mind, fuck me! Hell to the NO!

Anyways, tomorrow is gonna be a busy day for me. Reserve ticket. Shop. Beach. Jog.

Goodnight dolls.

Love and light. ♥

xxxdoll


ps : all the guys on the photos are from Barcelona. If you are the guy on the pic, sorry. I love you. Stole the photos from Badoo. :)

Do I have the letters SEX tattooed on my forehead?

Number one : Nothing beats making a blog on your bed while eating fresh cherries at night!

Number two : I went to the beach last tuesday which is actually already a part of my daily routine this past days cos I really wanna get a little darker or tanner I guess. And since the beach is only like 10 minutes away from my place by bus. So no big deal. I would always stay on my favorite spot where all the tourists are and I'd be the only asian looking guy there. hah! Of course you have to know the demographics. It's actually infront of the red cross room. Not mentioning that the red cross volunteers are friggin' hot too. lol. Anyway, so I stripped all my clothes off except my boxer shorts, applied my sun protection spray and then lied down on my towel to relax. I felt the urge to smoke though so I grabbed a cigar and puffed it. I noticed four mature guys were walking close to my spot. Like super close. They were not really too old but not too young either. Like literally they set up their towels and all five steps aways from me. One guy was wearing a red short which prolly has the best body amongst all of them. One with plain white shorts who looks average. One in balck. And another one in a very skimpy boxer shorts. They noticed me looking at them. Then I saw this guy in a very skimpy boxer shorts rubbing his thing while looking straight at me. Like showing me what he's got there. I was wearing sunglasses that time so luckily I was able to hide my reaction. Then I turned back and snobbed them. Just so my back could get some sunlight as well. Then that guy in skimpy boxer shorts called me and asked me if I want to join them. I said no and turned back! I was getting pissed off already and scared at the same time cos they were like drunk and drugged. Then the guy in plain white shorts asked me for a cigarette stick. I gave him one. It's cos I cannot deny anymore that I don't have an extra cigar cos they just saw me get one from my pack. Then again I noticed the guys playing their cocks infront of me. For real it looked hilarious than hot. But people were already noticing them. Then one of them, in a whispery voice asked me in english (prolly they thought I was a tourist), "Do you liike cocks?" For Christ sake. Those words? To me? With all the college jocks there? I gave them FU one by one! So I picked up my stuff and left! I went home. Dang it! Do I really have the letters SEX tattooed on my forehead?



they looked like them. :p

Number three : Tuesday afternoon I met up with my favorite doll at Havana (which is my favorite spot in Catalunia cos of a vey uber super HOT and SEXY argentinian guy who works there) to grab a snack and coffee. We were like laughing loud cos of the funny stories we were sharing. Then suddenly a tall HOT daddy stood on my right and gave us a smile. We were like, huh? The smile that you know that he finds something pretty. Then he moved away to his son. Then me and my doll just locked eyes then started laughing. I told my friend that was for you. And she was insisting, no that was for me. He looks gay she said. I said no, he has a son. Desperate move but if that was for me, no need for that. He was obviously cute and reminded me of VILLAGE BOY. :(



Numer four : Today, I decided to go shopping. Original plan was to go to the beach with my cousins again but they dragged me to Starbucks. They know I can't resist an iced charamel macchiato and a white chocolate chip cookie. So I have to take the metro to go to their place. I was waiting for the train and there's 1 minute and 30 seconds left for it to arrive. It was effing hot! We were at 37 this afternoon. Then the train came. It wasn't very crowded as normal. The door opened and right there and then I saw a very interesting guy. He was on his way out of the metro and I was going inside. Our eyes locked. Honestly, I never took my eyes off him, he didn't too. Then I became puzzeled. Should I get in the train now knowing he's going down. And I personally think he thought the same way too. Should he go down already knowing I will hop on the train now. It all happened in just several seconds. He went down and I hopped in the train. The door closed. He was still eyeing on me while walking and likewise I was eyeing him as the train moves. Then I realize we were wearing the same top from Topman. Hah! Then I never saw him again. Sad!



Number 5 : I have my very first and special follower. Robert! I hate you though. I am waiting for you now on skype. Hah! I'm bored. Talk to me kiddo.

Number 6 : I tried to look up for photos to post here of the guys that I talked about which I think looks like them. I think it's about 80% like them.

Anyways, that's it for now dolls.


xxxdoll

Loveand light dolls ♥

Uber

Hey, whattupers dolls?

I just want to make a quick post. I really don't freakin' know how to start this one. It's like I am.. Like...

UGH!

I never used my twitter before more than now. Why is that? Cos of this uber nice, uber cute and uber funny German guy which we'll call, Village Boy. I think that I... I've got a crush on him. *blush* I don't know.

Uber sad though, he's got a boyfriend already. :(



I just talked to him on skype with some friends and he sounded so cute. Like I wanna be with him that moment and just cuddle with him, lol. No, seriously, he sounded like someone so gentle. So lovable. He's such a tease!

I guess I just have to admit the fact that I'm only allowed to admire him from afar! I just hope I can be that person who can make him smile whenever he's down missing his boyfriend.

Uffff. Illusions. He'd never like me anyway. :(

And if you, Village Boy would be able to read this one day, I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. You can watch porn with me, lol.


xxxdoll

Love and light

Shades of Blue

There came a point in time in my life that I was like a lost kid. No hope, no dreams. Where I would always ask myself, when was the last time I took a chance on something. I guess being away from my family was one of the major reason for that. But I never wanna blame that tought though coz I know, everything I did, had to be blamed to no one but me.



A twist of faith happened when I was in my second year of college. Every week, we normally have two days off from the university. I don't wanna sugarcoat anything and as a very open minded and liberated doll, I would actually spend those days hooking up with people I meet thru the internet. I bring them to my dorm and there is where everything happens. To be honest, I can't actually remember how many guys I've brought home. Not that I lost count of them but it's just cause they were so many and I now can't remember.

Then the month of July came. Something happened which changed everything for me. Had this not happened, I would have been a prostitute by now, not caring if his genitals fall on the floor with all the diseases. hah! It came to a point where I had to ask myself what I was doing. It was unsafe. It was fun. It felt good knowing everyone wants to go to bed with you. But that wasn't what I wanted. My blockmates actually never knew anything about my double life before. Neither my family and friends.

It was a secret that I know I have to end soon.

That exact time when I wanted to quit everything aready, I got to know Archer. A marketing manager of a well-known company. We were online buddies.

Being a Roman Catholic since birth, I would always go to the chapel of the university before classes starts to have some minute talking to God. Thank Him for blessings, ask Him for forgiveness and ask for some little favors! lol. Then I asked Him one day. To please give me a sign. If I meet this Archer guy and he's wearing my favorite color (then was blue) then I'd take him seriously. I'll stop fooling around. I promised.

Then the day came. We arranged a meeting infront of McDonald's near my unviersity. To my surprise, he was wearing a blue t-shirt, blue jeans, and blue rubber shoes. Plus he had a blue oakley glasses. I literally held my jaw on it's place. I thought wow! God answered me. But I was like, damn! I only asked for a blue t-shirt. Never asked for everything in blue! That time I was puzzeled at the same time scared. I never had a boyfriend before. No serious relationships. No hassels. But, could it be him?

We introduced ourselves. I asked him if he would like to go to my place. We actually did. He was though in a hurry cos he was supposed to watch a basketball game. Then I found myself lying beside him in my bed. Kissing him. Not knowing who he really was! What's he into. What he does. Then he left. For me, it was a feeling of this could be it. For him, I didn't know. He was too vague.



Then several days passed. I had my toungue peirced then by the way. I got a call from him, inviting me to go to his place. I was afraid at the same time excited. I told my best buddy at that time who happened to be a girl (who emailed me back the break up letter I previously posted here) to accompany me and sleep there too cos I was really tensed. Luckily, she agreed.

So we went to his place. And with more surprises from God, I entered his room. F*ck! His room was painted blue. From the walls to the cabinets. Pillow covers and comforter were also blue. I was like, oh God! Come on! You flooded me with signs. I was just asking for one! lol.

To make the story short, July 11 we committed to be in a relationship. I spent most of the time at his place. After school, he would pick me up. Usually I get off school very late cos law classes were normally done at nights. My blockmates were starting to question me who picks me up after school. Cos they would see different cars picking me up. Okay, let's say, he was financially stable. A very hot bachelor!

Since he goes to the gym at nights too, he sometimes leave me on his bedroom alone. Watching TV. Studying. I was like a plain housewife! We would have breakfasts together. Dinner together. Go out together. Everything seemed to be perfect!

During our monthsaries, I would pretend asleep on his bedroom and when he arrives from the gym, he would see a boquet of flowers lying next to me. I would make breakfasts for him. We watched basketball games together. It was so weird thinking everything was so perfect! Like a script written.




To be continued..


Love and light dolls ♥

xxxdoll

Kiss Slowly and Love Deeply

"The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn't want to be held on to. Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you. The thing about falling in love is that if you do it right, you'll never hit the ground. Life is too short to be anything but happy. So kiss slowly. Love deeply. Forgive quickly. Take chances & never have regrets. Forget the past but remember what it taught you. Sometimes, you just have to smile : ), pretend everything's okay, hold back the tears and walk away. If you want TRUE LOVE you must go through the pain. Men were made from God's rib, not from his head to be superior, not from his feet to be walked on, but from his side to be equal, from under the arm to be protected, and from next to the heart... to be loved!"


- AUTHOR UNKNOWN -

Ain't it lovely?

Well, aside from the fact that it's 4:17 am and I am still wide awake eating cherries, I guess I also wanna share my desktop background now :




Sexxxxaaayyy :)

Love and light dolls ♥

xxxdoll

First Gay Break-Up

"So easy to describe yet tedious to understand. He is a D-desperate C-creature *dc:my intials" who loiters around the world and indefatigably makes people happy. In the bad light however, shall I say, countless of the populace abhors him. Why? well, he probably just stands out in a crowd and steals limelight from them. And on the brighter side, he is just one "doll" who would want to make a difference in this world and I myself would bank on it. No doubts, he will no longer be one HELL DC (as expounded in the acronym above) but one "doll" whose name has touched a million lives and killed a million others. If there's one person who does not need the sun to make me smile, that will be this "doll"!"- Archer

Sweet isn't it? That was from my first ever boyfriend and let's call him Archer.



The first few days of my break up with him wasn't actually as hard as I thought it would be. Prolly becuase I broke up with him to be with somebody I thought was way better than him. But unfortunately, the guy I chose to be with was no much better than an asshole bad-looking gangsta boy. hah! I love my exes though. On my end, I still treat them as friends. They have all taught me different lessons in life, different means and ways to survive.

The relationship I had with Archer was the first and the finest of all the relationships I've had. No questions asked. I spent 6 months with him. During this period we lived in together. He was like Richard Gere and I was like Julia Roberts from the movie "Pretty Woman" if you can understand that.



I left him, becuase I was actually a third wheel. He was in a relationship with a commercial model. There even came a time where all of us three would sleep in a single bed. The former one not knowing I am in a relationship with Archer as well. December of 2005, I gave up on Archer. But the official break up happened on January 22, 2006 - the same night I fell inlove with that gangsta' boy, who i also spent six months with.

And after more than five years, I was albe to read his break up letter for me again and I wanna share the drama to my dolls :)

Baby,

My eyes may be hurting, I may be feeling a different coldness. My body shivering from too much anxiety. But those won’t stop me from loving you so.
I perfectly can be described as weak for I may have had shed sea of tears. Living life with nothing but love inside me, uncertain of the right time to share.
Admittedly, you may have heard this a number of times, it may be passé but at this point, this is my biggest regret. I’ve been asking too many questions, why I ended up being the unknown me. It’s just inexplicable how facilely I have transformed into something or someone you can easily abhor. One whole year, I’ve worn the mask which I thought can save me from insults and embarrassment. Instead, brought me to my worst nightmare.

Baby, I know that I'm no longer the “Archer” that you used to know. I know that at some point in your life, you once loved that “Archer” without hesitations about his totality as a person. I just do hope you still remember that good side of your “Archer“ and leaving the bad ones behind.

Baby, I broke numerous promises. Please give the last chance, which equals to one life I have. I can’t imagine a life without you now. This maybe the first day without you and with this writing, I want you to picture what my heart is telling the world : that I cannot live without “DOLL”.

I did not do anything significant this day, but just thinking about you. Thinking how you feel, what you’re doing and if you still love me. If only my brain and my heart can explode not trying to get hold of the emotions I feel and the questions I think of.

Baby, I’m not even sure about what’s life the following day. I leave it up to God and I offer my life to him now that I’m nowhere but I would swear to him that I won’t waste the life He granted me. I guess, I have to leave this day with my feeling written on this paper. My body can no longer sustain the exhaustion I feel. I have to prepare for tomorrows challenges, which I know, will be a more tedious one.

I love you so much Baby!!!

Love lots,
Archer

Awwwwww, I know, right? Just hits every damn spot of the heart.


Love and light dolls ♥


xxxdoll

I can be a tease, but I really wanna please you.

Whattup dolls? How's everyone?

It's been so hot lately here in BCN, like I wanted to go out of the country just to escape summer cos it's not funny anymore. Like everyday, my balls get sweaty. hah!

Anyway, I'm just left with seven more days and I am officially on vacation! Whoohoo! At last. Well, it will be from July 8 up till September 15. I know, be envy dolls. I will be soon flying to my home country and then prolly go to Italy for some days. I've been meaning to meet some of my dolls there lately.

I have an Italian-American friend who lives in BCN now. And lots of thanks to him I got to know a super hot french lad which we'll call, uhm, "PETE".

Pete, as he describes himself, is a 19 almost 20 year old guy living in UK now but he's actualy french. He's got dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. He likes rock (he's actually a lead singer of a band if I am not mistaken), drugs, art, and thinness. He's got lots of tattoos and infact his chest is all covered up with ink. He said his style comes from scene kid movement (or emo as they call it). His hobbies? Sex with girls. Yes, he said he was straight.



To be honest, I have never been turned on by an emo before. But I was surprised that Pete here, amazed me in so many ways. I personally think that Pete smells good even if he looks trashy. lol. He loves people, whether they may be black or white. Gay or straight. He loves to be loved as well. That's why when I asked him if he wants me to love him, he said yes! Unfortunately, he's got a girlfriend and I told him I don't want to be a third wheel. Besides, he's in UK and I'm in BCN. He's been here once though.

How did I get to know him? I was checking Joey's (Italian-American friend who lives in BCN) facebook account and saw Pete there. I added him out of nowhere. I never actually had the chance to talk to him before but seeing his pics, Damn! He's one fine hell of a hot emo kid.

Then one day, I was checking a porn site for PLU (people like us) and was surprised to see a video of Pete jerking off. This site actualy just posts videos of hot guys from xTube. I was stunned. My jaw dropped. I really really wanted to talk about it to him but I was scared and shy to ask him plus I thought he was a typical snobbish french guy. But what the, I still tried talking to him. I added him in my msn.

There I found out that he actually does cam shows for both girls and boys. I asked why. He said for money. I became sad. Seriously.

He charges 10 euros for a cam show. He said old english guys actually love to see him masturbate in front of the cam and would pay him for that. I pittied him. I have a lot of whys for him but never had the guts to ask him. Oh, I asked him though if his girlfriend knows about it and he said no.

I flirted with him. I told him if he can do a cam show for me and I'll pay. He said yes. But unfortunately my paypal din't work and he got mad. Sadly, no cam show for me. :(

One day, being a nice doll that I am, we were both online, and he said he was freaking horny and asked me what I want. I said I want him, lol. He made a videocall and he did a camshow. It was quick. He did it for me, for free. He said I was a lucky boy. The whole time, my eyes was just fixed on the cam. I was wondering what the feeling would be had I been the one doing it for him. lol.

Days passed and we still chat every time we get a chance to be both connected on msn. He would still do cam shows for me for free. Actually, I was so scared that I might like him. I want to say that my thing with him is not just about sex. He really has ways that amaze me and I can't really explain them which I really find wierd! I would ask him why he does these things to me and he can't give me an answer.

When I tell him to change his avatars, he will. He takes photos for me real time. He started most of the convos we had. I make him laugh and he does make me laugh to.

Had he been here in BCN, I would have dated him already. I guess he will allow me to cos we've already talked about dating once.

If one day he's gonna be able to read this blog, I want him to know that I fancy him. I have a huge huge crush on him. And get your ass here to BCN cos I wanna cuddle with you. :)


Love and light dolls ♥

xxxcarlo