Sweet isn't it? That was from my first ever boyfriend and let's call him Archer.
The first few days of my break up with him wasn't actually as hard as I thought it would be. Prolly becuase I broke up with him to be with somebody I thought was way better than him. But unfortunately, the guy I chose to be with was no much better than an asshole bad-looking gangsta boy. hah! I love my exes though. On my end, I still treat them as friends. They have all taught me different lessons in life, different means and ways to survive.
The relationship I had with Archer was the first and the finest of all the relationships I've had. No questions asked. I spent 6 months with him. During this period we lived in together. He was like Richard Gere and I was like Julia Roberts from the movie "Pretty Woman" if you can understand that.
I left him, becuase I was actually a third wheel. He was in a relationship with a commercial model. There even came a time where all of us three would sleep in a single bed. The former one not knowing I am in a relationship with Archer as well. December of 2005, I gave up on Archer. But the official break up happened on January 22, 2006 - the same night I fell inlove with that gangsta' boy, who i also spent six months with.
And after more than five years, I was albe to read his break up letter for me again and I wanna share the drama to my dolls :)
Baby,
My eyes may be hurting, I may be feeling a different coldness. My body shivering from too much anxiety. But those won’t stop me from loving you so.
I perfectly can be described as weak for I may have had shed sea of tears. Living life with nothing but love inside me, uncertain of the right time to share.
Admittedly, you may have heard this a number of times, it may be passé but at this point, this is my biggest regret. I’ve been asking too many questions, why I ended up being the unknown me. It’s just inexplicable how facilely I have transformed into something or someone you can easily abhor. One whole year, I’ve worn the mask which I thought can save me from insults and embarrassment. Instead, brought me to my worst nightmare.
Baby, I know that I'm no longer the “Archer” that you used to know. I know that at some point in your life, you once loved that “Archer” without hesitations about his totality as a person. I just do hope you still remember that good side of your “Archer“ and leaving the bad ones behind.
Baby, I broke numerous promises. Please give the last chance, which equals to one life I have. I can’t imagine a life without you now. This maybe the first day without you and with this writing, I want you to picture what my heart is telling the world : that I cannot live without “DOLL”.
I did not do anything significant this day, but just thinking about you. Thinking how you feel, what you’re doing and if you still love me. If only my brain and my heart can explode not trying to get hold of the emotions I feel and the questions I think of.
Baby, I’m not even sure about what’s life the following day. I leave it up to God and I offer my life to him now that I’m nowhere but I would swear to him that I won’t waste the life He granted me. I guess, I have to leave this day with my feeling written on this paper. My body can no longer sustain the exhaustion I feel. I have to prepare for tomorrows challenges, which I know, will be a more tedious one.
I love you so much Baby!!!
Love lots,
Archer
Awwwwww, I know, right? Just hits every damn spot of the heart.
Love and light dolls ♥
xxxdoll
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